I have a mind for quantitative analysis. I also have the balls to violate the "Man Code" if it means that everyone will be a bit smarter and the world will become a better place. So, girls, don't read this and think that guys are scum (if you didn't already). Read it and use it to manipulate guys.

The Scale
Here's how it works. You see a girl. Her face, what you can see of her body, her clothes. Her overall preseentation at first glance. You tell your friend how many points she gets. The whole process takes about 5 seconds.

The scale goes from 0 to 10. Imagine the ugliest girl you have ever seen. She is a 0. A girl who is a 0 is probably too ugly to leave her house. A girl who is a 10 is the best-looking girl you have ever seen. This rating is generally reserved for celebrities who you can only dream about sleeping with. You have to assume that the "average" girl is a 5.

If you like, you can come up with separate rankings for a girl's face and body. Sometimes, unfortunately, there can be quite a divergence between the two. You can also come up with an average rating for the whole place if you want to discuss with your friends how much trim is floating around or how ugly all the girls are. If a place is below a 5, I'd think about going elsewhere since there is no hope of it getting better. Even if a few 8's walk in, the place is only going to become a 5.5, still not worth staying for.

And yes, the scale is subjective. Guys won't rate every girl the same way. But you'd be amazed how consistent the ratings are from one guy to the next.

The Threshhold
One guy's 8 might not equal another guy's 8. But generally, 8 is the point on a given guy's scale at which he has decided that a girl is worth approaching and definitely worth sleeping with. A girl who is a 7 is still attractive, and a guy might pursue a 6 if it's been a rough couple of months. Below that, a guy begins to compromise his dignity.

Beer Goggles
Yes, alcohol will slide the scale. Some guys are pretty good at avoiding alcohol-induced scale slippage, but other guys will chase 5's thinking they are 8's after just a few drinks.

Novelty Points
If you have identical twins that are each 7's, they become 8's due to the fact that they are identical twins and also because the prospect of bagging them both just makes the whole encounter more exciting. Therefore, identical twindom is worth +1 Novelty Point (each). Here's the breakdown:

+3
Celebrity
 
+2
Great Personality
Openness to Sexual Activity
Foreign Accent (English, Australian, French, or Spanish)
Resemblance to a Hot Ex (if things ended badly and you are seeking revenge by proxy)
 
+1
Good Personality
Good Dancer
Socially Fun (drinking, jokes, etc.)
Openness to Sexual Conversation
Foreign Accent (any others)
Identical Twins (each)
Resemblance to a Hot Ex (if things ended well)
Bartender
Unique Clothing (particularly slutty clothes, a cowboy hat in a non-country bar, a group of girls with matching shirts, etc.)
Last Call (applies to every girl in the room)
 
-3
Psychotic Tendencies

Subjective Points
Along with these standard Novelty Points, guys might have their own "subjective" Novelty Points. One guy might give a girl +2 if she likes death metal. Another guy might give +3 if she's a vegetarian or -3 if she smokes. And another might give points for a particular religious affiliation. The beauty of the Point System is that it is adaptable, but the basic methodology is always the same.

Points don't accumulate, though. If you have a 0 and she has an English accent and a good personality and she's a twin and a celebrity and a good dancer, she does not become a 8. The ugliest girl in the world does not become hot. The solution is simple. Only the single highest NP modifier counts, and the others are disregarded. In this case, the highest modifier is +3 (Celebrity), and the 0 becomes a 3. She might as well stop talking and dancing since it doesn't help her score.

Be Careful
If a girl is savvy enough to know about the Point System and asks you how she would rate on your scale, DO NOT ANSWER HER. Unfortunately, we're in a society with an obsession with numbers, particularly those of a sexual nature. Men are afraid to admit their penis size for fear it is too low, women are afraid to admit the number of sexual partners they've had for fear it is too high to be acceptable, and it's the same way with the Point System. Any answer you give will be given intense scrutiny. Any deviation your number has from the number that the girl has in her head will be magnified to the point that they will obsess over it and wonder why you think she is less attractive than she thinks she is, giving her a complex about whatever faults she might have. If you MUST give an answer to an insistently inquisitive girl, make sure your answer is 2-3 points higher than what you really think. Or be safe and give her a "10." Any answer that disappoints her destroys any chance you ever had of hooking up with her.

Similarly, if your guy friend asks you how you'd rate his girlfriend, either tell him that you "don't share girlfriend rankings" or revise your honest ranking up by 3 or 4 notches. If a guy hears that the girl he is hooking up with is ranked lower than what he wants to hear, he will take offense.

People take the Point System pretty seriously, so realize that any number you bring up for discussion with someone you know or want to know will carry a lot more weight than it probably should. It gets people excited. It's like talking about politics in DC, the Red Sox in New York, or race in Alabama. Only the Point System is universal. So be careful.

Clustering
Girls of a feather flock together. Hot girls hang with hot girls, and ugly girls hang out with ugly girls (if they even leave their house). Of course, there are exceptions, but if you take a random group of girls in a social situation, and they will usually be within 1 point of each other on the scale.

By extension, if a hot girl tells you she wants to introduce you to a friend of hers, it's a pretty good gamble. And if an ugly girl says the same thing, proceed with caution.

Yes, Girls Do It Too
Because American society has painted a picture of girls as being fairer and more morally "correct" than guys, girls feel like they have to be all objective and sensitive. So, when guys are listening, they say that they like guys with "confidence" or a "sense of humor." They can't really say, if another guy is within earshot, that this guy is a 6 or that guy is a 9.5. They'll say that they don't rank guys, and that the Point System is just another example of how guys are immature and superficial.

But you know what? Girls do it, too. My good friend *** confirms this. They're just like us. And in a sick but strangely erotic way, they rate other girls, too. In the endless fight for male attention, girls need constant reminders of where they stand relative to other girls. So some girls have come to understand and use the Point System, using it as a tool to assess their competition in social situations.

Girls are cool. Especially the ones who are "8" and higher.



Interesting..

Just a couple of points to add...

First, I just spent a week with you surrounded by women, and I don't remember ranking any women with you. I guess we just used a more relaxed scale...

Good from far, far from good (0-5)
"I'd do her" (6+)

Second, Michelle, I'd always give a bonus 2 points for the fun slutty ones. :)

Anthony on March 31, 2007 at 1:05 PM EST

Sometimes you will see a group of girls in which one stands out more.....

jeni on February 6, 2007 at 1:35 PM EST
OMG!

That is hilarious, Jeff, and soooo true. I hereby confirm that girls use the point system, at least the fun slutty ones like me. (Do I get 2 extra points for that?)

Michelle Allmon on September 28, 2006 at 9:33 PM EST
Ouch

Scoring big jeff.....

Matt on September 24, 2006 at 2:27 AM EST
your system

...at least you're honest and up front about it, allowing us all the chance to know where you stand before WE make any decisions about you :P

Tammy on June 27, 2006 at 11:04 PM EST

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