The launching point for Fraser Island and a pathetic excuse for a town.



Kenny and Neil play pool.



The boys frolic in the pool.



More fun in the pool. From left to right: Lindsay, Kenny, Steve, and Neil.

From: Jeff Nyveen To: my friends and family Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2000 03:23:04 -0400 Subject: Once Upon a Time... Once upon a time, there was a guy named Neil. Neil was a funny, decent-looking guy, with short, wild blond hair and teeth that uncannily resembled Arnold Schwarzenegger's. Neil was a backpacker touring the west coast of Australia with Oz Experience, travelling with several other backpackers, each of whom would soon bear witness to his ungodly ability to score with women. In Surfer's Paradise, Neil and his friends went out to a club to drink and dance. Neil was the first one in, and by the time everyone else had flashed their IDs and made their way inside, he was lip-locked with an attractive young bird named Alicia. Twenty minutes later, Neil was out the door, on his way to a motel for some lovin' with his new friend. Neil's friends watched and laughed as the event unfolded in front of them, not knowing that this would prove to be a nightly ritual. On the bus from Surfer's Paradise to Brisbane, Jeff, one of Neil's backpacker friends, sat next to a young bird named Daniela. Daniela was cute and very talkative, and Jeff did his best to keep up with her. But Daniela soon grew more interested in Neil. They talked all afternoon, and by the evening it was clear that Daniela was going to sleep with Neil. That night, Daniela slept with Neil. The next day, Neil and his friends left for Noosa, leaving Daniela behind. They arrived in Noosa, unpacked their bags, and headed to the local bar for some more drinking and dancing. It was Tribal Night, and the barmaids were traipsing around the bar painting everyone's faces with black oil and a paintbrush. Tina, one of the barmaids and probably the most attractive girl in the place, painted Neil's face. Neil had found his target. That night, after the music died down and the bar had closed, Neil left the bar and went to the beach with Tina to look at the constellations and suck face. The next morning, a new roommate joined Neil in his room. Her name was Caroline. Caroline was a cute English girl who was travelling south, but would be in Noosa just long enough for Neil to score with her. Neil and Caroline became very friendly and spent most of the afternoon with one another. While Neil was sitting in his bedroom with Caroline, Daniela knocked on the door. Her bus had just arrived from Brisbane, and she had stopped by to say hello. An awkward silence. At the first available opportunity, Daniela pulled Caroline aside and advised her not to sleep with Neil because he was bad news. While Daniela was in Noosa, Neil hardly said a word to her. While she was getting ready to board the Oz Experience bus and continue on her journey, she stormed around bitching that guys were bastards. That night, Neil, his backpacker friends, and Caroline went to the local bar for some more drinking and dancing. Neil had no interest in shagging Caroline since he was planning on shagging Tina the following night (at least he has morals), and that's what he told Caroline. But Caroline didn't seem to mind, sticking to Neil like shit to a blanket for most of the night and then hopping into bed with him after everyone else had gone to sleep. Neil and Caroline were together the next day, talking and smiling and hugging. But Neil had other things on his mind. He was preparing for his romantic rendezvous with Tina, the face-painting barmaid. Caroline played it pretty cool, not seeming to care too much that someone else would be polishing his knob that evening. Neil and his backpacker friends went to the bar for more drinking and dancing. He played some pool and then met up with Tina at the bar. They talked for hours, but when the bar closed, Tina walked away, leaving Neil by himself. On her way to the door, she walked by Jeff, who was still busy studying Neil's methods, and said "See ya." Jeff froze. Originally, Jeff had a great deal of animosity towards Neil. Jeff was jealous that Neil could score every night and not he. But Jeff has done some soul-searching and has come to enjoy watching Neil doing what he does. And watching Neil strike out with Tina has given Jeff new hope. Not all was lost for Neil. He porked Caroline that night. The next morning, as he was getting ready to board the Oz Experience bus to Hervey Bay, Jeff approached Tina at the reception desk and told her how much he respected her for not leaving the bar with Neil. They got so involved in conversation that the Oz Experience bus left without him. Jeff ran out of the office and chased after the bus. He couldn't catch it, but he managed to have the driver radioed so it could turn around and pick him up. Jeff got on the bus, the driver called him a bloody gonad, and everyone started clapping. -The End- Yesterday, our last day in Noosa, we went for a walk through a national park and made our way down to Alexandria Bay to sit on the beach. It was awful. The brisk wind kicked up sand that made my face sting, and the beach itself was covered with tiny crabs and dead jellyfish (the size of basketballs). I sent a box home yesterday. I became very sick of carrying my very heavy bag around with me (who needs 3 pairs of jeans, wool sweaters, and sweatpants in heat like this?), so I packed up a box with extra clothes, brochures, my broken sunglasses (I smashed them between my bag and a glass door), my broken watch (my waterproof watch was not waterproof), stolen wine and beer glasses, and a white USC baseball shirt which became pink after washing it with my red Nundle Wild Bucking Sheep Champion shirt. Bonus points for Mom if she can make that shirt white again. As I was packing, I realized that someone has stolen my electric razor. Not a huge loss since I didn't have a power adapter for it and couldn't use it anyway, but it still sucks to lose it. Arrived in Hervey Bay this afternoon. It is pretty much the shithole that everyone had told me it would be. Tiny town, much less touristy than our other stops. And there's a beach. I know this is supposed to be paradise, but I'm getting mighty sick of beaches. Every stop along the coast has been on a beautiful beach. But enough is enough. I only have a few more stops to make along the coast before I head inland and tour the center of the continent. Lots of rainforests and deserts. Tomorrow morning, we leave for Fraser Island for a three day 4x4 safari and camping trip. Fraser Island is supposed to have some of the most beautiful scenery in Australia, so I'll be taking lots of pictures. Unfortunately, I will be without my computer while I am away, so I'll be out of touch for a while. My friend Liam has graciously volunteered to search the Net for a detailed map of Australia so the rest of you can track my progress up the coast. If anyone already has a good map of Australia online, let me know. Since I am charged for connect time, I can't really look for one myself. One final note. Pauline, a girl I have been seeing on and off for several months back home, and I have decided to be together when I return from my trip. One of the things I have learned on this trip is to do whatever it takes to be happy. Cheap scores with girls don't make me happy. She makes me happy, and I know I would regret it if I let her slip away. No Regrets. PS: I've had a few people e-mail me telling me that they are enjoying my adventures so much that they would like to help fund them. If you'd like to send money to support the "Jeff in Oz" fund, check the web page for details: http://pages.infinit.net/nyveen/Jeff_in_Oz/ (old link) Jeff

Lindsay and Kirsty.
(photo by Kenny)



Emily (Australian) and Neil get their groove on.



Neil feels ?'s molars with his finger.



And then with his tongue.



Jeff consoles the drunken Emily.
(photo by Kenny)



Steve and Kenny put on a show.


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